Examining Your Desire (Ep. 183 - Ragtime)

July 31, 2018 Matthew Baume

Bonus Episode Guest: Zack Ford

Zack Ford never planned to become the LGBTQ Editor at ThinkProgress.org. He was going to be a music teacher, and writing about current events was just a hobby. But after he came out in college and began living a more authentic life, he realized that he was holding himself to some expectations that he simply didn't want to meet. And that his happiness depended on a radical shift in his assumptions about work, pleasure, social justice, and sex.

Huge thanks to everyone who makes The Sewers of Paris possible with a pledge of a dollar or more a month on Patreon. There's rewards for folks who back the show -- click "Support the Show on Patreon" to check them out. Or you can support The Sewers of Paris for free by leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice -- that really helps people find the show.

BTW, I hope you'll join us for the next Sewers of Paris live chat. It's on Saturday August 11th at 2pm pacific.

This Week's Recommendation: Urinetown

Thanks again to Zack for joining me. Do check out Ragtime, it's a fantastic and too-often overlooked show. And if you like musicals with something to say, you might also enjoy one of my favorites -- the title is Urinetown, and that does not even begin to prepare you for just how unsettling an experience it can be.

The show is set in a sort of fabled speculative future, where water is so scarce you need to pay in order to use the bathroom. From this bleak dystopia emerges a folk hero named Bobby Strong, whose father was seized by authorities for his refusal to pay for urinating. Bobby, determined to usher in a more just world, falls in love with Hope Cladwell, the daughter of the wealthy madman who controls the town's water.

Together, they believe that there's a better way, a more just system by which all people can live together.

They are wrong, and everything goes very badly.

While the show is a goofy comedy full of in-jokes about overdone musical theater tropes, it's also a very dark comedy about how the best of intentions don't always lead to the best of results. A few weeks ago I recommended Assassins as a musical that leaves you feeling a sort of cold weary dread about humanity. Urinetown is, for its part, often just as alarming... but at least in this show, we're laughing about it.

Stuff We Talked About

Behind Closed Doors (Ep. 182 - Steel Magnolias)

July 26, 2018 Matthew Baume

This Week's Guest: Nick Kochanov

My guest this week is Nick Kochanov, host of the podcasts Squirrel Friends Cocktail Hour and The No Good, Very Bad Gay. Growing up, he dreamt of having his own version of the salon from Steel Magnolias. He envisioned himself hanging out with his own versions of Dolly Parton and Sally Field and Julia Roberts. But it took years for him to realize that there was a problem with his vision -- that the man he was envisioning hanging out with them wasn't really authentically him.

Huge thanks to everyone who makes The Sewers of Paris possible with a pledge of a dollar or more a month on Patreon. There's rewards for folks who back the show -- click "Support the Show on Patreon" to check those out. Or you can support The Sewers of Paris for free by leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice -- that really helps people find the show.

BTW, I hope you'll join us for the next Sewers of Paris live chat. I want to hear about the books, movies, music, and games that you and your fellow Sewers listeners are obsessed with. The livestream is on Sunday July 29th at 2pm pacific -- there's a link on the Sewers of Paris twitter feed, and you can click a reminder button to get a notification when we go live.

Also! If you're looking for more queer podcasts, check out the show I host with some fantastically funny drag queens Queens of Adventure. We play an ongoing and very queer Dungeons & Dragons adventure full of action and suspense and shady banter. We've got some big announcements coming soon -- head over to QueensOfAdventure.com to subscribe to the podcast, and to get on the mailing list to find out when you can see the queens performing live.

This Week's Recommendation: Brene Brown

Thanks again to Nick for joining me. We talked a bit this week about having permission to express yourself honestly and to pursue the things you want. For my recommendation this week, look up the TED talk by a researcher and storyteller named Brene Brown. I don't normally like TED talks, especially the ones that offer vague and only semi-actionably inspiration.

But this 20-minute talk is chock full of promising ideas for you to mull over and process and incorporate into your life. Brenee Brown spent years interviewing people about why they experience feelings of shame, self-worth, and connection. And then she reached a point where she herself was overcome by her findings, baffled by the patten that emerged: that people who make themselves vulnerable have a closer connection to feelings of shame and fear and struggle for worthiness, but also a closer connection to joy, creativity, and belonging. That led to what she describes as a yearlong personal street fight with vulnerability that she ultimately lost, and in the process, won her life back.

There are, like I said, a lot of ideas in this talk, from the root of shame to offering love when it may not be returned to finding inner courage. I come away with different thoughts every time I watch. And wherever you are on your own journey, it's a good point of calibration to ask yourself what you're doing, what you're avoiding, and what stands between you and what makes you happy.

Stuff we Talked About

We Just Kept Secrets (Ep. 181 - What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?)

July 19, 2018 Matthew Baume

This Week's Guest: J. Ronald M. York

I want to let you know that this week's episode addresses some upsetting topics. It wasn't until his parents died that J. Ronald M. York learned about accusations of childhood sexual abuse in his family. Letters in a box in his father's garage finally revealed the terrible secrets that his family had kept from him his entire adult life. And in turn, that started his process for dealing with the secrets of his own abuse that he'd been carrying for years.

These are hard things to talk about -- but they're important to acknowledge and address. If you need to talk to someone about sexual assault, contact the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 800-656-HOPE, or connect with the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network at RAINN.org.

This Week's Recommendation: Cameron Esposito's "Rape Jokes"

Thanks again to Ronald for joining me and for speaking so openly about something so difficult. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to talk about experiences like his, to say nothing of the pain of carrying those experiences as a secret. But I hope that hearing about what he's been through is helpful for other people carrying similar burdens.

And for another take on surviving sexual assault, take a look at Cameron Esposito's new stand-up comedy special, entitled simply "Rape Jokes." It's a title that doesn't mince words about what to expect: a challenging and also, importantly, hilarious exploration about sexual assault.

Cameron is herself a survivor, and her perspective is absolutely vital. It's an experience like nothing I've ever seen, swerving simultaneously through jokes and pain and laughter and anger and compassion. The entire special is available to watch online at cameronesposito.com, and there's a "Donate" button in the upper left to benefit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. Go, watch, give.

For something with so blunt a title, "Rape Jokes" is an amazing feat of comic finesse, or generosity, and compassion.

Stuff we Talked About

I Finally Felt Like I Made It (Ep. 180 - Andrew Lloyd Weber)

July 12, 2018 Matthew Baume

This Week's Guest: Jonathan D. Lovitz

What role does confidence play in reaching your goals -- is confidence as important as skill, or more, or less? My guest this week is Jonathan Lovitz, senior vice president at the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Before he stepped into that role, Jonathan enjoyed a successful acting career on stage an screen. But then he found his enthusiasm turning to LGBTQ advocacy, and now speaks out to improve economic opportunity for queer people. An funnily enough, in both roles, a lot of success comes down to the confidence people allow themselves to have in themselves.

Huge thanks to everyone who makes The Sewers of Paris possible with a pledge of a dollar or more a month on Patreon. There's rewards for folks who back the show -- just click "Support the Show on Patreon." Or you can support The Sewers of Paris for free by leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice.

Also! If you're looking for more queer podcasts, check out the show I host with some fantastically funny drag queens Queens of Adventure. We play an ongoing and very queer Dungeons & Dragons adventure full of action and suspense and shady banter. Season 1 just launched -- head over to QueensOfAdventure.com to subscribe.

This Week's Recommendation: Assassins

He mentioned wanting to play the role of the Balladeer in the show Assassins, so for my recommendation this week, you might want to check out a performance from the revival at the 2004 Tony Awards, available with an easy YouTube search.

I say "might" because it is an upsetting song in an upsetting show. Standing on stage, we see presidential assassins from throughout history, holding tight to their guns and singing about how they're all entitled to dreams. They're alarming, sinister, urgent dreams. All that death and disillusionment exacts a heavy toll on an audience.

There's also a lot of relevance to extract from the show, much of it in the eye of the beholder. To me, the show is about the dark side of ambition, a cautionary tale about confidence. Yes, of course, by all means believe in yourself. The funny thing about beliefs, of course, is that they are often wrong.

But that wrongness is a double-edged sword. As crushing as it can be that confidence can be misplaced, so too can self-deprecation. If one were to search inside Assassins for any sign of optimism -- and it would be a lengthy, difficult search yielding just scraps of evidence -- the silver lining might be that our own inner assassins, the ones who steadfastly believe in our own failure, might be the one who's misguided.

Stuff We Talked About

Gunshots in the Night (Ep. 179 - Kingdom Hearts)

July 7, 2018 Matthew Baume

Bonus Episode Guest: KaiKai Bee Michaels

How do kids learn to be people when the adults in their lives aren't teaching them? Kai's parents weren't always there to give her the guidance she needed, and so she was forced to fend for herself. That meant learning basic life skills on her own, but also how to function around other people -- and how to take care of herself during a period of homelessness, moving across the country, and starting fresh with a day job in education and a nighttime gig in drag shows.

By the way, Kai is one of the San Francisco performers in our upcoming lives show, Queens of Adventure, where drag performers play a game of Dungeons & Dragons for a live audience! Kai plays a high elf Wizard with a magic owl. You can see her onstage along with Erika Klash, Pollo Del Mar, Kitty Powers, and Rock M. Sakura in two brand new adventures on July 13 and 14 at Oasis in San Francisco. Tickets are available now at QueensOfAdventure.com.

This Week's Recommendation: Justin Saint Cosplay

Thanks again to Kai for joining me -- look for KaiKai Bee Michaels on Twitter and Instagram to follow her cosplay and performances. And if you're in San Francisco, you can see her in Queens of Adventure, our live show featuring drag queens playing a D&D adventure, on July 13 and 14! Tickets are now on sale at QueensOfAdvenuture.com.

We talked a bit about cosplay on this episode -- that's the craft of making costumes based on your favorite game or comic or cartoon characters. And for my recommendation this week, I suggest you go follow one of my favorite cosplayers in the world: the delightful Justin Saint (who you can also hear on Sewers of Paris episode 161.)

Justin's cosplay is nothing short of stunning. You might've seen a Maleficent look that's particularly beautiful, but there's also a Stevonnie from Steven Universe that is sheer perfection. Linda Belcher, Ariel, Korra, Padme, the looks are all exquisite, and you can find them by searching Instagram for gaymerqueen, that's gaymer with a Y.

Part of the loveliness of cosplay is when you share someone's enthusiasm for a character or a show. But I think I actually like it more when I DON'T recognize whoever they're cosplaying as. It's a signal that, hey, there's something out there that's so good people are willing to transform themselves to embody it. It's the strongest possible recommendation to check out something new and exciting. And it means that the next time you see that cosplayer, there's a chance you'll be able to geek out together over the new favorite they helped you find.

Stuff We Talked About

When I Started Saying the Word Butt (Ep. 178 - Q. Allan Brocka)

July 5, 2018 Matthew Baume

This Week's Guest: Q. Allan Brocka

This week's guest has had a hand in shaping a lot of queer culture we enjoy today. Q. Allan Brocka created one of the shows that aired on Logo as the network was getting off the ground; he directed the Eating Out series of films that have been a mainstay at LGBT film festivals for over a decade; and he's currently working on some intriguingly upcoming film and TV projects. Before he was a successful filmmaker, he was a shy kid from Guam, quietly absorbing what seemed then like forbidden culture.

We'll have that conversation in a minute -- but first, San Francisco, we're bringing our show Queens of Adventure back to Oasis! Come see drag queens playing a real Dungeons & Dragons adventure live on stage, July 13 and 14. That's right, two nights -- two completely unique adventures, starring Dragula's Erika Klash, as well as Kitty Powers, Pollo Del Mar, KaiKai Bee Michaels, and Rock M. Sakura. Tickets are now on sale at QueensOfAdventure.com.

And if you can't make it to the live shows, don't worry -- you can check out the podcast Queens of Adventure, featuring four MORE drag queens on an ongoing quest! Season 1 is now underway. Listen and subscribe at QueensOfAdventure.com.

A huge thanks to everyone who makes The Sewers of Paris possible with a pledge of a dollar or more a month on Patreon. There's rewards for folks who back the show -- just click "Support the Show on Patreon." Or you can support The Sewers of Paris for free by leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice.

This Week's Recommendation: RuPaul on Public Access

Thanks again to Allan for joining me. We talked a bit about his public access show, but it occurred to be that kids today might not even know what that is. You see, back in the olden days before YouTube, cable TV companies were required to fund television production studios all across the country that anyone could just go to and use. And then whatever they made would be broadcast locally for folks in town to watch.

The results were, most of the time, completely unwatchable. But out of public access stations came some fascinating artifacts. And among them are brief glimpses of RuPaul's early career. My recommendation this week is just to search online for "RuPaul public access." You'll find videos of a 20-something Ru in the 1980s learning to be the entertainment mogul she is today.

It's all very messy and unpolished -- this is before she met the stylists who would craft the looks that we know her for today. She's wearing makeup that would be read to filth on her contemporary runway; she's stumbling and babbling over talking points; her sets are cardboard messes with cables piled in a corner. The crew around her seems to be learning how to use the equipment as they shoot.

But despite the mess, she is totally captivating. You don't have to look very hard to see the polished personality that would emerge in the 90s to take over the world. Ru didn't emerge onto the scene as a fully-formed product, but instead spent years honing her craft and her talent.

Public access stations still exist today, but technological changes have left them in the dust. Now it's easy for anyone to pull out a phone, shoot some nonsense, and stick it in front of millions. It's great that there's no need to fumble with equipment and schedules at a run-down building on the outskirts of town. Now you can bypass all the hassle of dealing with public access stations. But you can also bypass all those years of polish.

Stuff We Talked About

About The Sewers of Paris

The Sewers of Paris is a podcast about how queer lives are shaped by our favorite books, movies, music, and shows. Each week, guests open up about their secret struggles, hidden passions, and surprising triumphs by plucking a piece of entertainment from their past and answering the question: What’s the entertainment that changed your life?

About Defining Marriage

Each week on Defining Marriage, hosts Matt Baume and James Morris chat about what's happening with marriage equality, featuring frequent digressions into pop culture, silly banter, and the jokes and quibbles that have kept them together as a couple for over a decade.

The first eighteen episodes of the podcast contain the complete audiobook version of the book Defining Marriage, which traces the decades-long evolution of marriage through the personal stories of those who lived through it, featuring personal insights from the lives of Evan Wolfson, Dan Savage, Ken Mehlman, Dustin Lance Black, and many more.

About Matt's So-Cast Pod

Revisit the iconic '90s drama My So-Called Life, one episode at a time. Every week, host Matt Baume & his guests delve into the teen angst, the grown-up turmoil, and the endless flannel of the 90s -- and examine the show's impact on television and our lives.